about me

I began my studies in physics and math at Lewis and Clark College, in pursuit of understanding the nature of reality. I played football there while on an academic scholarship. Following 9-11 my path became unclear, unsure how my studies translated into a career, and how I fit into a society beating the drums of war. Some self-exploration was therefore warranted. The adventurer in me was given the space to fully express. I set off hitchhiking with a German surfer, Bjorn, that I just met in a San Diego hostel. We ended up becoming like brothers, going all the way south down Baja until we set up camp on the perfect surfing beach north of Cabo San Lucos. What was discussed to be a week surfing trip turned into a five-month adventure. It was on that beach in Mexico that I decided I would devote my life to the healing arts.

I returned to academia to further my aspirations of becoming a healer at The Evergreen State College(TESC), in Olympia Washington. My first quarter schedule revealed my eclectic nature; an herbal medicine program, creative writing, and multivariable calculus. I continued my pursuits of satori, spontaneous excellence, in the spirit of Dan Millman’s book The Peaceful Warrior. I played collegiate basketball as a walk on while at TESC.  I grew up nearby on Harstine island, where my treasured past time was split between playing basketball and exploring the miles of forested paradise. That developed in me a deep reverence and admiration for the natural world.

Herbal medicine inspired me by starting to pull back the curtain on nature’s inherent intelligence and elegance. Take the Ginkgo tree for example, it is one of the oldest species of trees, and as if analogically, the leaves can improve memory as medicine. I was therefore resolute in a future practice as an herbalist, but it was important to me to be able to work with a wide range of people from different socioeconomic backgrounds. The naturopathic doctorate program at National University of Natural Medicine(NUNM) in Portland Oregon enabled me to do just that; incorporating herbalism, homeopathy, nutrition, physical medicine, pharmacology and the rest of the necessary clinical skills required to accept insurance as a primary care physician.

The truths revealed by quantum mechanics scientifically validated for me many of the nondualistic philosophies of eastern spiritual and medical systems.  I naturally gravitated towards these schools of thought. I became a certified practitioner of Jin Shin Jyutsu, a Japanese system similar to acupressure, while working on the prerequisites for medical school. I attended vipassana ten-day silent meditation retreats annually and incorporated the meditation into my daily practice. With my desire to further my study of eastern medicine, the choice of which naturopathic program to apply to took care of itself. At NUNM it had the only classical Chinese medicine program that I could take concurrently that was distinguished in its orientation to teach from the ancient roots of medical and cosmological wisdom.

My future career and the means to achieve it at NUNM were laid out clearly before me. What was unresolved at this juncture was playing college basketball. The dark side of competition was weighing on me. The invisible guiding hand lined up a series of serendipitous events that invariably affirmed that my desires were aligned with my destiny. I randomly came across a book on aikido, a Japanese martial art, with no attacks or competition, that translates as the way to harmonize with the energy of the universe. I soaked it up like a traveler in the desert drinks water. I Googled a contributor of the book, an aikido teacher Jeff Haller, called him, and he graciously invited me to his home to learn aikido. Upon my return home, realizing that there were no aikido teachers in Olympia, I wrote a twelve-page research paper on the history and philosophy of aikido as a self-study course at TESC. After I submitted it, an aikido dojo, or place of practice, opened in Olympia right on cue. I trained there until I devised a plan to dive into aikido at its source. After graduating from TESC, I moved to Japan where I got a job teaching high school English in the JET program. In my application to the program I made no placement requests, not knowing any aikido teachers in Japan. That is why it was all the more astonishing when my new English department adviser picked me up at the Narita airport, informed me that he was a fourth degree black belt in aikido, and that he would be happy to introduce me to his teacher, Yasuo Kobayashi, a long time student of the founder of aikido, Morihei Ueshiba. His son, Hiroaki Kobayashi, had his dojo a twenty-minute bicycle ride from my house, and spoke English. Originally, I thought I would delay applying to NUNM a year or two, but it turned out to be an almost five-year sabbatical. During which I was a live-in student of the dojo to prepare for my second-degree black belt examination. I loved being totally immersed in the intense all-day training, sleeping on the dojo mats at Hiroaki sensei's house, and all the cleaning before and after each class.

Aikido is an indispensable part of my life. I'm forever grateful for Kobayashi and Hiroaki sensei's teaching. I remodeled my garage in Portland into a dojo and taught free aikido classes to my roommates and friends from school. I started an aikido club at NUNM and taught the weapons portion of our training. On my last trip to Japan to train in Kobayashi dojo, I talked with Hiroaki sensei, who became the head of Kobayashi dojo years earlier, about my intention to start a dojo and teach aikido officially in my community. Hiroaki sensei surprised me at the end of my stay, presenting me with the aikido banner of his calligraphy that hangs in the front of the dojo. This is the traditional certification signifying that I am a lineage holder of my teacher and I have his authorization to teach under his banner.

I began my studies at NUNM in the fall of 2012 in the Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine and the Master of Science in Oriental Medicine degree programs. It was incredibly gratifying to be applying myself to a career path that was so aligned with my desire to be of service and make a lasting impact in the lives of my future patients. This path offered me both left and right brain growth. It allowed me to quench the thirst of my scholarly mind by blending the medical wisdom of the ages with the endless expanse of scientific discoveries. It also gave me another reason to sink into the root of my being through meditation and Qi Gong, to become the conduit and catalyst, rekindling the desire to nurture life.

I was highly active with all the inspiration and stimulation at NUNM. To advocate my vision for the direction of our education, and ultimately our profession, I ran for the program and curriculum review committee student rep position through our student government. After two years on that committee I wanted to continue the mission upstream. I spent the next two years as the student rep to the board of directors, where I made full use of the five minutes allocated for my speeches. I might have gone over a couple times in my passion to give voice to the challenges of being truly a holistic medicine in a reductionistic and materialistic medical environment. Another addition to my load was upgrading to the newly created Doctor of Science in Oriental Medicine degree program. To get some business experience and promote food as medicine in the community, I built a solar powered food cart on a flatbed trailer. I brought it to special events and farmers markets in the summers. The final endeavor was putting on English immersion summer camps for Japanese high school students. My motivation was to provide climate change education, cultural exchange, and camping in the wilderness.

As much as I wanted to continue to cruise along, my body would say otherwise. In the winter of 2017, my fifth of the six-year programs, my father was diagnosed with end-stage lung cancer. NUNM worked with me to add a year to my programs so that I could assist my father. That spring my first symptoms began. Initially it was shoulder stiffness, then gradually my right hand weakened, until I couldn't use my dominate hand for anything by that summer. And thus began the marathon of adaptations to work with what I have. That summer I developed my left-hand dexterity remodeling my dad's rental to get him some income, and further progressed on my acupuncture shifts that fall. Finally, I could eat sushi with chopsticks. I was falling behind typing one handed for my classes and clinical charts. I set out to become a wizard of voice to text using Dragon software and soon rivaled two hand typing speeds.

All along I was seeing all sorts of specialists.  The neurologist ran a gauntlet of blood work and ordered an MRI. Coming in to discuss the results, my worst-case scenario was having to negotiate with him recommending surgery. He said that the MRI didn't provide any smoking gun and all the tests came back negative, therefore his leading suspension was ALS, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig’s disease. Surgery sounded fine after that. ALS is too rare for him to diagnosis, so he referred me to the ALS specializing neurologist. She agreed that it was most likely ALS, but I didn't meet the diagnostic criteria without multiple limb weakness. She suggested it could also be brachial neuritis. One source stated that ALS has a 90% three-year fatality rate, whereas brachial neuritis has about 90% spontaneously recover. I was in limbo for months, both alive and dead, a real-life Schrodinger’s cat.

I was officially diagnosed with ALS in April of 2018 after my left hand became clearly weak. I continued at NUNM with wonderful support and accommodations for my rapidly changing body. The next fall quarter I was in a wheelchair and eventually came to school in medical transports to avoid transfers. The silver lining was being able to focus entirely on my patients with the medical scribe assisting me. I was two quarters from my graduation. My breath capacity became so low that my voice was barely audible making clinic infeasible. I had to make the hardest decision to withdraw from NUNM. A few months later one of my professors notified me that she had petitioned the board of directors on my behalf and they had voted to award me honorary doctorate degrees for naturopathic and Chinese medicine that June 2019. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for this unprecedented honor. I gave a speech at commencement through my communication device and was able to “walk” with my classmates.

I've always believed that as one door closes, two open. A great surge of vitality came through me writing the speech. Living with a tracheostomy challenges me daily. Therefore, I want to establish a clear purpose, stay inspired, and develop a platform to be of service to humanity through my writing. To remedy the potential catastrophic loss of life due to climate change, I intend to generate revenue from publications to develop lands for reforestation. I know it is possible from examples like Zen Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, who used his books to create Plum Village, his meditation retreat center in France, and the holy prophet, Bahaullah, who utilized his many decades of imprisonment to write the foundations of the Bahai religion. His story is especially inspiring to me because ALS is like a prison.

With my body immobile now, I have my eyes and my eye-controlled tablet that allows me to write about my unique experiences through this rare disease process. I am an explorer of the human spirit. It is a different kind of adventure, but I maintain the same openness and appreciation for the invisible guiding hand through this journey. As much as I would like to condemn the circumstances of my life now, I recognize this new chapter of my life can be transformational. We must let go to receive. In the six months around my ALS diagnosis, death (both of my former identity as well as loved ones) consumed every aspect of my life. I believe these lessons are directing me towards the growth my soul requires. I would no much rather deny myself the experiences that came with being lead to aikido and Kobayashi dojo, as I would now with ALS embarking on this Life Breath mission as a writer. I have purpose and that gives each ventilator assisted breath I take meaning - bringing people together as one to nourish and protect life.